How to tour a senior living community: the questions to ask
What to look at, who to talk to, and the red flags that are easy to miss on a guided tour.
“We have three tours booked this weekend. Every community is going to tell us they’re wonderful. How do we actually tell them apart?”
Look past the model apartment. Watch how staff and residents treat each other, ask every community the same questions, and read the state inspection reports before you choose.
A composite of questions families send us. The details are illustrative, not one person's story.
Key takeaways
- Tour during a meal or an activity, not only in a quiet mid-morning slot.
- Ask every community the same questions, so you can compare the answers.
- Check California's licensing reports, and go back unannounced before you sign.
Before you go
- Write down your must-haves: care needs, budget, location, faith, pets and language.
- Ask for pricing and care-level fees in writing before the tour, so the visit is about everything else.
- Look up the inspection history. California licenses assisted living as Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly, and publishes each one’s visits and citations on the Community Care Licensing facility search.
- Bring your loved one if you can, and book the tour around lunch or an activity.
What to watch for
The tour guide will show you the best of the building. The small moments in between often tell you more.
Staff
- Do they greet residents by name?
- Are they patient, or rushed?
- Are there enough of them around?
Residents
- Are people engaged, or mostly sitting alone?
- Do they look well cared for?
- Would your parent find people to talk to?
The building
- Clean, with no lingering odors
- Handrails, good lighting, easy to find your way
- Outdoor space that residents actually use
Dining
- Stay for a meal if you can
- Ask about special diets
- Ask how often the menu changes
Questions to ask
Care and staffing
- How many staff are on duty during the day, at night and on weekends?
- Is a nurse on site, and when?
- How is care assessed when someone moves in, and how often after that?
- Who manages medications, and what happens if there is a mistake?
- What happens if my parent needs more care than you provide?
- How long have the director and the care staff been here?
Costs and the contract
- What does the base rate include, and how are care levels priced?
- How much have rates gone up in the last few years?
- What one-time fees are there, and is any of it refundable?
- How much notice is needed to move out?
Daily life
- Can I see this month's activity calendar?
- Is there transportation to doctor appointments?
- Can family visit any time and join for meals?
- Can residents bring their own furniture, or a pet?
Safety and health
- How do you respond to a fall or an emergency at night?
- Which hospital do residents usually go to?
- How and when will you tell us about changes in health?
Red flags
- Pressure to sign today, or a special price that expires this week.
- Vague answers about pricing or how care levels work.
- Strong odors, or residents left alone for long stretches.
- Staff who dodge questions, or residents who seem unhappy.
- Recent serious citations the community won't talk about.
After the tour
- Write your notes right away. After three tours, the details blur together.
- Compare the answers side by side.
- Ask to speak with families of current residents.
- Go back unannounced at a different time, like an evening or a weekend.
- Read the admission agreement closely before signing. Consider asking an attorney to review it.
Frequently asked questions
How many communities should we tour?
Three to five is common. Fewer makes it hard to compare, and more tends to blur together. Narrow the list first by care needs, budget and location.
Should my parent come on the first tour?
If they can, yes. It's their home, and their reaction is the most useful thing you'll learn. Some families do a first round alone and bring their parent back to the top one or two.
Are virtual tours enough?
They're useful for narrowing the list, but visit in person before deciding. You can't judge staff, residents or smells on a video call.
How long does a tour take?
Plan on 60 to 90 minutes, and longer if you stay for a meal.
Ready to look at options?
Search communities by location and care type. We don't rank or recommend. You compare, you decide.
This article is general information, not medical, legal or financial advice. Talk to your loved one's doctor about their specific needs.